The Top 10 Signs Your Sermon Isn’t Going Well
13. Your associate pastor is warming up in the bullpen.
12. The praise band begins playing you off the stage.
11. The congregation is filling in the blanks of your outline before you get there.
10. You think the lyrics to a bluegrass song are really connecting with your audience.
9. When you pause for dramatic effect, several people giggle.
8. Your cell phone starts ringing, and you answer it.
7. The person signing for the deaf just pulled on mittens.
6. When the children are dismissed to junior church, most of their parents go, too.
5. Your sermon took shape over a glass of wine and volume three of Left Behind.
4. Your interpreter just rolled his eyes and put your last statement in quotation marks.
3. Desperate mothers are pinching their babies.
2. The ushers are handing out refunds.
1. You began your sermon with “Top 10 signs your sermon isn’t going well.”
If you are a preacher, I hope none of these happened while you were preaching this past Sunday. If it did, go ahead and laugh, then try it again this coming Sunday.
Copyright © 2010 Johnson Beaven III. All Rights Reserved.
Johnson Beaven is pastor of Citadel of Faith Church of God in Christ (COGIC). He serves as a district superintendent and Episcopal assistant in the COGIC Indiana North Central Jurisdiction; human resources director for the COGIC International Department of Evangelism. He is the Indianapolis site coordinator and an instructor for the Interdenominational Theological Center (ITC) Certificate in Theology Program, and a religion columnist for the Indianapolis Recorder Newspaper. His Twitter account is @jbeaven.